4 Reasons Why You’re Not Happy

By March 7, 2013Lifestyle

stop whining

We are living in a day and age where we find ourselves miserable and unhappy. There is negativity everywhere we turn. The television bombards us with messages of war, hate and disaster; while also telling us how to look, what to buy and that we just generally suck as a human being. We have money problems, global warming, societal pressures and shitty economies. Ladies, want to be happy? Well then, take off your clothes, pump up those lips  and dance for the man. Men, you’re fucked… because the only way you will be happy is if you sleep with as many women as possible and then make tons of money to throw at them. That sounds about right, right? Wrong! You have the right, and the ability to be happy, you just need to come back to the grassroots meaning of happiness- organic happiness if you will. The problem is that you are just too busy sabotaging your dreams. So let’s take a look at the reasons why…

You’re insecure:We sit here day after day wishing we had nicer skin, skinner thighs, goddess hair, and porn star boobs. We go through our everyday lives bombarded with ads, songs and television shows telling us what to pick, and prod, suck in and dye. If you’re sitting there night after night watching E wishing you looked more like Kim Kardashian I have news for you. You are never going to look like her; or any other celebrity for that matter… cuz guess what girlfriend, you look like you. Sure you might have a gap between your teeth, a ragging zit in the middle of your forehead and may be prone to walk into walls; but that’s ok, because it is who you are. Under that ragging zit is a girl with tremendous work ethic; and when you’re not walking into walls you are beacon of genius and creativity. Your brain, and personality are sexy, flaunt that shit!

 If you wander through you life comparing yourself to everyone else’s highlight reel you are going to live a very sad, sheltered and lonely life. Sure Lana Del Rey’s ass is to die for, and I could definitely use Jamie Eason’s abs to do my laundry on; but those women didn’t escape the womb that way. A lot of hard work and dedication was involved. You are a brain first and a body second, but if you want the body put away the laptop and get off your ass. Sitting on that piece of meat never got anyone closer to a six pack.

You’re Materialistic: We live in a world where we mindlessly consume and collect useless items for instant gratification. We dream of the high paying job, the sleek car and the sex on a stick boyfriend, more than we care to admit. Our total purpose in this urban playground can be described by one sad, and terrifying word, consume. Have the best, be the best, look the best! We come home and whine about our tiny ass apartment, our mediocre wardrobe and then go to town about why no one will date us. Girlfriend, you need to check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Have you ever stopped to take a look at all your possessions? Have you ever thought about thanking those boots that keep your feet warm, or that old band tee that still fits after nine years? And good Lord Woman, do you NEED 12 black designer purses that you still haven’t been able to pay off?!

If we would just learn to accept that extravagant items may not be a necessity, and instead love what we do have; we would have so much free time to focus on more important items. Now that you are no longer whining about what you don’t have, you can use all that extra time and energy to work on getting what you want! Single? No problem, go date! Date one, two, five or seven men! With your newly found confidence and overtly abundant happiness you will be beating those babes off with your last season Micheal Kors bag that you are, oh so grateful for. Trust me, try it.

Your Attitude Stinks:Did you know you are able to trick your body into making yourself believe that you are happy? Start with a smile. When did we decide that smiling was only an expression to be used in isolated situations? I smile all day long. I am that creepy chick walking down the street with an absurd grin that nods and/or widens the smile for those that pass. Why the hell not?! There is so much bad out there I cannot help myself but to smile just to keep me sane. Did you know that smiling can boost your immune system, lower your blood pressure and relieves stress? If that wasn’t incentive enough, let’s touch on the subject in first paragraph; smiling lifts your face and makes you look younger! See, you don’t need a plastic surgeon of the stars; you just need to get that sour look off your face and smile. If you find yourself having a tough day, or suffering from Mother Nature’s monthly gift of PMS, take a quick minute to yourself. Make a ridiculous noise, do a little dance or laugh for no reason, sure you might look nuts, but I promise you that it will feel fantastic! When you revisit the task at hand you will be of clear mind, and happy soul. Single ladies it is a fact, there is nothing more unattractive than a miserable human being.

You’re Pathetic:If your life is as routine as Lindsay Lohan’s arrests, it is time to step outside of your comfort zone. Stop wearing black, get off Facebook, and be spontaneous. Act in the present, less talk more action. Being spontaneous means acting in the present, and being responsible for your actions no matter what they may bring. How satisfied are you with waking up, eating the same breakfast, walking the same route to work, sitting at a desk for 8 hours at a job you hate, drinking the same coffee over lunch, talking to the same people you don’t really care for, and then coming home, whining about it all and doing it all over again? Just writing that down made me queasy, and I am sure you agree. The thing is, that SO many of us are doing exactly that! It’s time for a change kids- It’s time to get crazy!

What does living in a spontaneous space feel like? The short answer is less thinking, more feeling. I have learned to proceed by feeling things out and not letting my mind corrupt what I am feeling or becoming lost in my emotions. We are so influenced by what we see, what others are doing and what is deemed at socially acceptable that we simply forget that we are a being that thrives on drive. Remember that saying “safety first”  – I say, Fuck it. Now, I am not saying that you need to quit your job and move to the jungle, or invest thousands of dollars on an idea that was not well thought out. No, what I am saying is get out and do something new. Try a new type of food or bar, try an activity that makes you uncomfortable, or talk to that hottie you’ve been internet stalking in HR. What do you have to lose? That was a trick question, the answer is nothing; you have nothing to lose because you stopped taking yourself that seriously. The mind and soul thrives on new experiences and challenges, without them you become a stagnant old hag that plateau-ed at the ripe old age of 30. Gross.

This is the urban recipe for happiness. So read it, love it, and practice it. Because no one is stopping you from getting what makes you happy except you. Instead of bitching about it, try this- change it. Whoa, shocker, someone call Nasa I have made a scientific breakthrough! If you are unhappy with anything you are, do, or have, either accept it and move on, or change it. You create your own adventures. The End.


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  • Ryan Cooper says:

    I think one of life’s biggest paradoxes is that the first step to being happy is to NOT pursue happiness. When in the pursuit of happiness you are constantly evaluating whether you are happy or not and thus as a result if you are not happy you become even more unhappy thus push yourself even farther from finding that happiness.

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